Today, we turn to lovely Florida-based Evil Opal for some advice on hard limits. You’re probably familiar with hard limits as being those lines you’re not willing to cross; activities you absolutely don’t want to do in a BDSM power exchange. But Opal suggests you also consider the hard limits you must have in your Mistress/slave relationship.
Hard limits as must-haves
Let’s face it, Opal knows you wouldn’t be into this kinky stuff if you didn’t have fantasies and desires. And it’s very likely you have one or two fetishes you’d find extremely tough to live without. It’s ok to consider these things when you’re looking for a dream Domme, Opal says. It’s also ok to bring those things up when you negotiate a slave contract or slave training program with your Mistress.
Say there’s a certain fetish or type of play deeply necessary to your sexual or emotional satisfaction. Opal says it’s not only ok but vital that you find a Domme who’s happy to incorporate those things into your Mistress/slave relationship. A couple of common examples are crossdressing or toilet training. If these things are a BIG DEAL for you, then Opal suggests you ask yourself whether you’d ever really be happy with a Domme who was turned off by them.
Mistress/slave relationship protocols
There are also some less obvious aspects of a Mistress/slave relationship which can be very important, and level of contact is a good example, according to Opal. How often do you desire contact with your Domme? Are you hoping for daily chats or are monthly play sessions enough? Different expectations regarding level of contact is apparently a very common source of dissatisfaction and conflict between Dommes and subs.
Likewise, you may each desire a different level of protocol, says Opal. If you’re the type of slave who longs for high protocol, you’ll feel unsatisfied with a low protocol owner where a more egalitarian-minded sub might chafe miserably under high protocol demands. And unless you’ve already given it some thought, you might not even know which kind of sub you are. And it’s ok not to know! But that too should be communicated to your Domme, so she can understand what to expect from you – which in this case would be your need/desire to experiment with different levels of protocol, to determine what works for you.
Practical needs in D/s
Opal sees aftercare as another great example of ‘hard limit’ must haves in a Mistress/slave relationship. And this includes aftercare for both physical and emotional aspects of a BDSM scene. You might need words of reassurance after that heavy humiliation scene you crave, just as much as you’d need your wounds tended to after heavy physical play.
Last but certainly not least, there are any number of practical ‘vanilla’ needs which Opal suggests be included in a slave training program or BDSM slave contract. Health needs for instance: are you diabetic? Then it’s entirely reasonable that you be allowed to eat properly and regularly, and to make sure you take your insulin. Other material needs should be considered as well. For instance, Opal requires Her slaves to make a financial contribution to Her as part of their servitude. This is one of Her personal ‘must-have’ hard limits. But She also requires that they budget enough to pay for their own bills, including health insurance, retirement savings, etc. Debt and bankruptcy may be fun to fantasize about but what good is a broke(n) tool She can no longer use? Opal prefers to take proper care of Her tools, so they’ll be usable for a lifetime!
Is there anything you must have, in order to be satisfied in your Mistress/slave relationship? Then click on any of the sexy images above to get to gorgeous Evil Opal’s website or talk to Her about it right now!
Be sure to follow Evil Opal on Twitter HERE and HERE!
